January 13, 2014 | Healing, Healthy Living | One Comment
We’ve taken off our “2014” plastic neon glasses, paper tiaras, and hats, and our noisemakers have since gone out with the trash. Some of us have set intentions with the New Year’s Supermoon, and some of us have relegated resolutions as things that we should always be putting forth energy to, New Year’s Day or not. But, one thing I’ve been noticing after New Year’s – many of us end up feeling paralyzed by the overwhelm of resolutions, new duties, and changes that have been shaking us up! We are being challenged, more than ever, to tap into our inner strength, change our established ways of thinking, and experience life in new ways. Much to our chagrin! Bah, who likes change anyways?
Rest assured, being in unsettling change means that we are tapping into our real love. Because, it is only when we are shedding light on our demons, that healing, and thus, change, is made. And, this process can be downright uncomfortable! It is tempting to ease back into old habits that may be dysfunctional, but safe, simply because it’s what we’ve known. It’s important to catch ourselves and bring awareness to this when it happens, to break the cycles.
What are 3 traps that create a limited mindset, and how do you overcome them?
- Fear – when you operate from a mindset of fear, your energy constricts. Imagine holding your breath, and never exhaling. This is the energy of fear. It doesn’t expand, and it attracts negative energy, as well. That is why people who live in fear might, with time, create a whole story surrounding their specific fear, thus giving it more power. There is fear and there is love. Love is the real deal, and fear is very real too, but not as productive as love. Fear is the umbrella emotion that everything else, that isn’t love, is derived from, such as anger, greed, jealousy, etc.
The only way to stop fear in its tracks is to infuse the situation with love. And, before you start envisioning a pollyanna mindset, bedecked with a lei of daisies around unkempt hair, and the whole stereotype that may come to mind, think of this: love is not a “weak” emotion. In fact, it is the strongest. Fear is very powerful, too. But, love can cut through fear like a hot knife through butter. All it takes is a shift in mindset, which, in itself can last for a total duration of a few seconds, but the effects can last indefinitely.
To infuse a situation with love, in order to shift it from fear (and also to dismiss the scarcity mindset), think about the fact that, at any given time, you can start over. With anything. Because, that is actually true. That long rift you’ve had with a family member? Shift the mindset from anger/hatred, start over, and shift into love. How would that look in this new situation? What would it be like to even just send love to this other person? Although I would not expect this relationship to heal overnight, it’s already is starting to heal, simply from your shift into healing (rather than holding onto fear), and projecting love, that you first give to yourself, and then “send” to this other person. This is how the healing starts. You may not see physical evidence of this, but, soon enough, you will. Just as you saw real evidence of the discord between the two of you before. It’s all about where you place your focus.
- Comparing yourself to others – this is very tempting to do, but achieves absolutely nothing positive. At first, you may think it productive to compare your work/relationship/marriage/talents with others, to get a sense of how you’re doing. But, in the end, what information you get from the comparisons doesn’t really matter, because the only one who’s needs need to be met is your own. And only you are the gauge for that.
With the wonders of our social network, it is easy to transmit with others what’s going on. But, one trap that can be triggered from this is the beginning of comparing your life accomplishments with everyone else’s. Another way we compare ourselves with others is in judging others. When we judge others, we assume that either we are doing a better job than what they’re doing, or that the other person is doing a better job than we are.
To shift from comparing yourself with others, try a social media fast for a weekend, where you unplug from it all! Another tip to shift the comparison is to practice compassion, mostly with yourself, but also with others. When you do so, you extend yourself kindness that you are doing the best you can in this moment, for whatever issue you feel compelled to compare yourself to others about, and you also extend the understanding that what others may exhibit, may not necessarily be the real/whole story. For example, sure, your colleague seems to have the most perfect relationship from all outward appearances, but he/she could just be very good at hiding his/her pain. You never truly know a person’s situation. And, if you did, you may not covet their situation as much as you would. You may even be thankful for what you have!
- Scarcity mindset – this is when you stay in the fear that you will never have enough, that you will always be struggling, or that other people will always have more than you do. This is where taking responsibility is key. Because, the ugly (or beautiful) truth about this is – you create what mindset to have, and thus, have control over how you create your reality.
The fact is that there is enough for everybody. The universe is limitless, and abundance is limitless.
I’ve come to learn that many people develop a scarcity mindset out of fear that they may actually succeed. Sometimes, it’s because they see their friends not doing so well, and so would feel bad if they started succeeding, or owning their abundance, in the face of that. Another reason why we may feel stuck in a scarcity mindset it because we’ve seen money as a problem growing up, and so make a tacit promise with ourselves that we will never have to deal with those issues, because we won’t have money to create those problems to begin with. And yet another possibility is that we may have, in a past life, made a vow or promise of poverty, for whatever reason.
The key to addressing the scarcity mindset is to first off, realize that there is enough for everybody! That everyone, including you, deserves to make a lot of money doing exactly what you love. Make the shift in your mind, and you will be surprised how much more at peace you are with the issue of abundance. Also, if you feel your scarcity mindset is due to a promise you made to yourself (in this life, or in a past one) that you won’t have to deal with money, check in with yourself, and state that you release that bond you’ve made with yourself, that the vow of poverty you once made be broken. And, simply say, “I own my abundance”, and believe it.
Sure, shifting our mindsets can be difficult, particularly when we’ve invested a great deal of living our lives a certain way! But, if you’re not happy with the results of your thoughts, and how your life is going right now, no matter what issue it is, always know that you can make the mental shift to create a better reality. This is something that I often discuss with my patients in my private practice, because empowerment comes from within.
What mindsets have you shifted, and how did you create the shifts?
Please share in the comments, below!
In liberation from the trappings of our minds,
P.S. I’d love learn what topics you want to hear and talk about! Email me with suggestions on what you’d like to see explored in a future post, and don’t be surprised if I take you up on it!
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