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"(190/365) ARGH!" by Sarah, , used with permission under CC BY 2.0. Source.

How Not To Self-Sabotage When You Lose Your Zen

We’ve all been there. We have just joyously entered our “zone”. You know, that space and time where you finally feel all is right with the world, you feel productive, you just meditated for an inhumanely long time, did yoga poses only a contortionist could accomplish, ate the most delicious healthy meal, and you can literally feel the cells in your loins thanking you for your food choices. Yes, you’re feeling good, and the sky practically feels glittered with rainbows and unicorns. You’re feeling like you are in a true, deep state of mental clarity and peace.

Then, at that exact moment, you are jolted out of your zen mode by one other human being who clearly hasn’t been in his/her zone in quite some time. Perhaps they’ve never even gotten there. But, one thing’s for sure. You are just about to be brought into their world. Maybe they just crashed your car, maybe they intentionally stepped on your new shoes (and your tender toes!) in the packed subway and never apologized, maybe they stuck their elbow in your eye and didn’t care that it was starting to turn a deep hue of sanguine, or they rammed their cart into yours at Whole Foods with such fervor that could only rival Mario Andretti. And, those are the lighter fare of interpersonal altercations!

Whether it be one incident or a string of a few, being jolted out of our zen can range from a slight inconvenience, to us embodying Michael Douglas’ character in the movie, Falling Down, where he goes ballistic after having been pushed too many times too far.

At times like these, things can easily turn nasty, even violent. Especially, right now, since this Saturday’s Full Moon also activates the grand finale Cardinal Grand Cross (think January and April intensities), which means people are feeling a lot of emotional intensity, and crankiness may be in full bloom!

After the experience with said human being transpires, and we may have lost our cool, many of us may become disappointed with the fact that we allowed ourselves to be affected by the other’s actions. “We should know better”, we think.

It is normal to experience anger sometime in our lives. Anything said otherwise is a fallacy.

I’ve mentioned this in many of my past blog posts, including “Top 3 Misconceptions People Have About Being Enlightened: On Anger, Multidimensional Living, and Money”. It doesn’t make you more enlightened not to be angry, when it can be a natural emotion to feel after something unjust has been done to you, or has threatened your safety. It does matter how you act on it, however.

Some of us work to be bodhisattva-like, and try to follow our paths towards enlightenment as human beings. But, the reality is, that enlightened or not, when we lose our zen, it may not be pretty. Even worse, the self-sabotage that may occur after said losing our zen may be treacherous to experience. The reason being, that old patterns of self-sabotage get easy access to our emotions when we’re in this state.

So, if there’s one thing you do remember when you are coming down from having lost your zen, remember this:

Don’t allow self-sabotage to live when you lose your zen. (Tweet this.) (Yep, this is a new feature I’m trying, check it out!)

If you tend to be really hard on yourself, I imagine that you may use this downtime after the incident to evaluate your actions, and most likely judge your behavior: what you could’ve said, what you could’ve done, why didn’t you do this or that. Essentially, that how you reacted wasn’t enough.

The self-sabotage lies in your inability to see yourself with compassion at a time that you need it, and results in little “paper cuts” to your spirit that are self-inflicted. And, how does that serve you to be hard on yourself when you’ve just experienced an uncomfortable or challenging experience? That’s right! It doesn’t.

It is true that it is totally up to us if we allow others to influence our mood. But, as exquisite human beings, we are all learning. And, maybe learning how to retain our power and practice self-compassion, even in times of distress, is one of our greatest lessons.

So, what’s a good game plan to dispel self-sabotage next time you end up losing your zen, so you don’t go off the deep end?

  1. Forgive yourself for losing it.
  2. Forgive the other person for their actions (you can do this action in your mind). I know it’s hard to do, but simply saying this shifts the energy.
  3. Tell yourself that you did the best you could do, and that your best is enough.
  4. Think about proactive ways you could respond (or not respond) next time you are placed in a similar situation, and then file it away for future reference.
  5. Show yourself compassion and love so you can release this incident, and not allow it to ruin your day. A sweet way to do this is to envision the experience in your head, and envision yourself being surrounded by an egg of active, pink light. What this does is send healing love to your past self in the incident that bothered you. This also works after arguments. You will literally feel calmer. One of the reasons being that when we are acting out, it is because we feel alone (we feel like we have been singled out in the attack, which is a lonely feeling). By envisioning this simple pink light being sent to you in your time of need helps to dissipate that illusion of loneliness during your time of stress. Love indeed conquers all.
  6. Do a quick breathing exercise to exhale the toxicity from your energy field and your body: inhale light, exhale pain. When you exhale, exhale forcefully through your mouth, as if you’re blowing the toxicity away. Do this 3 times.
  7. For God/dess’ sake, stop replaying it in your head, and move on with your fabulosity! The easiest way to do this is to do something that makes you present in your body and activate endorphins: exercise, physical activity, playing with children, getting hugs that last for at least 20 seconds.

Have you successfully avoided self-sabotage after losing your zen? I’d love to hear about it!

You actions are enough. You are enough,

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On another note:

I will be taking a week-long vacation in the Adirondacks from Saturday, July 12th, to Saturday evening, July 19th. It has been a long time coming (actually, it’s rather sad that I don’t remember the last time I took a week-long vacation that didn’t involve my wonderful family), and I’m so excited to breathe in fresh air, get my toes in the Earth, swim in the lakes, kayak, hike, observe the wildlife in preserve, and commune with Momma Nature! Because of that, I will not be publishing a new blog post that week. Instead, I will be posting one of my most popular blog posts on the Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts Facebook page on Wednesday morning! If you visit, I invite you to “Like” it if you do!

 

Copyright © 2014 by Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

All information on this website is my own opinion, and not to be taken as medical advice. Reliance on any information provided on this website is solely at your own risk. Please refer to your medical practitioner before making any medical decisions.

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