Change. Transformation. Emerging from your chrysalis.
Sounds really pretty, right? Almost makes you envision singing birds in a non-logged forest tying bows in the air with satin ribbons, while a Disney princess emerges from her enchanted cabin to wax poetic with the forest animals.
However, the real deal is that transformation can be dark, challenging, and sometimes downright ugly and unpleasant!
I’m talking about the gut wrenching decisions we need to make that we know will liberate us, but are difficult to execute. You know, the ones you don’t make for many months or years because you’re putting off the inevitable, hopeful that they will miraculously transform by themselves.
From abusive or unhealthy relationships, to getting help towards recovery, to leaving that job or cushy financial situation, to releasing old internal patterns or beliefs that have held us back, but that we’ve identified with our whole lives, these issues can take on many forms. They’re like heavy, wet blankets of shame we have grown curiously accustomed to, and feel safe in.
Change may be the only constant, but it is rare that people openly embrace it with bravado!
Why do we resist something we know is good for us?
The answer is simple – we do what we know. Knowing is safe. Knowing is comfortable. Even if that knowing means we put ourselves in physical or energetic harm’s way on the daily. And, if we’ve been playing small for a very long time, that harm can feel like that’s all we have to cling to in life. (By the way, that’s fear talking, not reality!)
Which makes transformation hard. And scary.
So we push against it. We resist and deny. We fight the change, the transformation that wants and needs to happen for our highest good. We hold onto the scraps by tooth and nail.
This is what happens when you resist your transformation:
- The signs you are given to change become louder.
- The issue at hand becomes even more unmanageable, despite all efforts.
- You continue to feel blocked or stuck in life.
- The stuckness bleeds into all aspects of your life.
- You keep feeling like you’re reaching a dead end, no matter what method you use to address it.
- Your solar plexus chakra gets blocked (and vice versa, sometimes a blocked solar plexus can create this resistance).
- Your fear within grows.
- Your disconnection to your Heart grows, as well.
That said, just even opening a sliver of possibility towards change can already get the ball rolling. Once you become honest with yourself, and really want it (usually we really want it when the pain we are experiencing overrides our fear of change), you receive all kinds of cosmic backing towards movement forward.
You are held with love by forces unseen. Remember that. (click to tweet)
So, how do you make change happen with more ease? You don’t. You allow.
This is what happens when you allow yourself to transform:
- Floodgates open. Flow happens, things move, and all of a sudden things that were stuck in your life gain momentum.
- Your Heart does an inner happy dance (even if you are still enduring growing pains).
- Tears may flow up to be released, all those tears of joy, happiness, rage, and pain that have been suppressed.
- Your body relaxes, since up until this time, it’s been constricted from the act of resistance and bracing for impact.
- Whatever the outcome of this allowance to transform, you feel free. Probably for the first time in a long time.
- You are more in touch with your self-love.
- Your solar plexus begins to release its block.
- Your Team of Light does a metaphorical high five.
Things to keep in mind as you embrace change:
Do be gentle with yourself, and give yourself time (to create your internal shifts, as well as extra time to physically get where you need to go).
Up the self-love (using loving words towards yourself, cutting yourself some slack when you mess up, practicing self-forgiveness).
Up the self-care (rest/sleep, healing sessions/treatments, anoint yourself with healing oils, eat well and clean, journal, get in some physical activity).
If you’ve ever felt stuck, what worked for you? How do you up your self-care during times of change?
Leave me a comment, below, and let me know!
Let your love find you,
P.S. Before I was a healer, I was a zine edtrix and performance artist. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to get back on stage, when I performed part of “Chapter 59: Homeland and Interests”, of Jose Rizal’s classic novel, Noli Mi Tangere, for the Reading Rizal event that happened all weekend! Check out this shot of me at the Bowery Poetry Club last night. It felt so wonderful to be in that element, again. Felt like home!
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