How did you all fare with last week’s eclipse tunnel, and yesterday’s New Moon Solar Eclipse, that signified new beginnings, in the midst of a Mercury Retrograde, which means we are heavily reviewing what no longer serves us? It was a brutal week for a lot of us, energetically, since many truths were uncovered, and that is not usually a fun process.
So, it was no surprise to me that many of my patients came in needing relief from heightened stress levels! A lot of them were frustrated with the intensity of last week, particularly with themselves, and what they perceived as flaws and limitations in their character. News flash: we are ALL imperfect! We are human. It is our imperfection, and our striving to be who/what we want to be, bringing forth our uniqueness into this world and universe, that makes us so beautiful. If we were already perfect, we would not be on this earthly plane trying to create, make an impact or difference, find our path, become the heightened, more complete version of ourselves.
We have been, as of late, very impatient with our growth and obstacles. Angry, even. Especially those of us who are control enthusiasts, and like to keep things in order! The current times call on us to go with the flow, in the midst of rapid change, and what feels to be chaos. Despite how it feels, we are going through exactly what we need to in order to further release what needs to be released, and to more easily embrace our fuller selves.
How do you know if you are judging yourself for being imperfect, and what can you do if you find that you are doing so? Here are some things that may sound familiar:
- “I feel stressed, but I have nothing to be stressed about. There are people who are worse off than me.” This is a form of denying ourselves of our truth. If you are stressed, it does not serve you to devalue your experience. Be with your emotions, don’t run away from it, nor charge towards it. In fact, embrace the challenging emotion (whether it be fear, stress, worry, etc.), allow it to have its time, like a child having a tantrum. Eventually, it will wear itself out, and the urgency of the emotion will lose its power.
- “I should be able to handle this! Why am I so weak?” We all have our moments when we feel weak. That doesn’t mean that we actually are. Some of us are in high-powered situations that demand that we not show weakness. I once knew a woman who actually repressed her emotions about the stress she endured as a VP at a large and well-known corporation, because she was so overwhelmed by the toxicity of her work environment, in which she was the only woman. She was hellbent on not showing her vulnerability to her male colleagues. She was very successful in repressing her emotions, to the point that she was totally disconnected from her true self. So much so, that she became the very thing she feared, fragile. The reason this happens, is because, eventually, repressing our emotions makes the body rebel back, in the form of symptoms, such as physical pain (especially in the upper back and trapezius muscles, which is often the case when we are in jobs that we are unhappy with, which is a result of us not standing in our integrity with what we really want in life), anxiety attacks, insomnia, depression, digestive issues, among others. Is the fear of looking weak worth the symptoms you get when you repress perceived vulnerabilities? Firstly, they are only your fearful perception, which means that they may not likely be truth. Secondly, we all have our weak moments. But, when we focus on them as an actual personality trait, we create stories around these fears and make them part of our reality. Let it be the passing fancy that it is!
- “My body is too fat/ugly/unwhole/scarred/misshapen/lopsided/undesirable.” We are way too hard on ourselves, especially us women, about our bodies. This is a result of what we’ve been programmed throughout our childhood – through our life experiences, interactions with peers/classmates/parents/relatives, popular media, and expectations put on us to be perfect objects, rather than human beings. In addition, women of color experience a different shade of beauty standards, due to the fact that, until only recently, their type of beauty has not been considered desirable, as depicted in movies, TV shows, and the like. And, even so, there are still many color barriers to be broken! Personally, as a mixed race woman, who grew up in a culture that was obsessed with beauty pageants, I have identified, in the past, with this self-judgment. Especially, because I always seemed to operate outside-the-box, in actions, thought, speech, style, and body art. I’m glad to say that I am no longer battling with this challenge! It took many years of deprogramming, of re-writing my concept of self-image, of staking my ground on who I was, and finally believing my affirmations I told myself daily that I was beautiful, inside and out, exactly as I am. Some affirmations that helped me were: “I am absolutely perfect, exactly as I am.” “I love all of me, including my flaws.” “There is no one exactly like me. I am unique, wonderful, and own my sovereignty.”
So, never push down what makes you, you. What you have to offer is unlike anyone else. You were put on this earth, and universe, to shine in only the way you can. Never devalue your voice, rhythm, body, thoughts, spirit, or truth. Speak it! Only when you love yourself, including your perceived flaws, can you rise above the fear. And, remember – fear is an illusion. Be in the truth.
How have you shifted your self-perception from flawed to fabulous?
I’d love to hear about it!
You are perfect, exactly as you are, love,
Check out my poll, and place your vote!
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