"and this one unfinished story..." by Denise Carbonell, used with permission under CC BY 2.0. Source.

How Standing In Your Power Helps Create Healthy Qi In Relationships

All too often, we may dim our inner light and spirit, while we’re in relationships, perhaps because our partner may not be experiencing the same success or abundance as we are, or you’re simply at different stages in your lives.  The fact of the matter is that when we do this, it serves absolutely no one.  In fact, it is a detriment to ourselves and the relationship to play small.

When we downplay our abundance, our gifts, our abilities, and our heart, it puts out a signal to the universe that we are not ready to own our path, to be in a healthy relationship.  And, in turn, the universe will continue to give us lessons (sometimes they’re almost predictable what pattern we keep attracting) until we acknowledge our power and light, and create that shift within ourselves.

I have seen it all too often in women who consider themselves strong, that they have had that once or twice experience where they absolutely knew that they diminished themselves in relationships, for fear of their partner’s reaction or to “keep peace”.  Truly healthy relationships involve being able to hold space for your partner, even if you may be at different stages in your lives.

How does Qi play into this?  Qi is the energy that connects us all.  Everyone on this planet and cosmos.  Each of our organs have Qi, our blood contains Qi, our thoughts have Qi, plants have Qi, interactions with people have Qi, and what we focus on and manifest has Qi.  And when you want to get down to it, we all even own Ancestral Qi that is passed down to us.  Everything and everyone is connected.  And, so when we are most connected with ourselves, we are able to connect best with others.  When we build ourselves at our core, creating solid foundation of knowing what makes us joyful, peaceful, expressive, most whole, and feel most loved, and embracing our gifts that make us singular from any other person, we are manifesting our life’s purpose.  Owning our light.

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like your light is not enough.  Because it is.

And the reality is that the best way we can positively influence others in our lives is to truly love ourselves and be seated in our knowing of ourselves.  With all of our imperfections.  That we are exceptional exactly as we are at this moment.

One meditation/exercise I like to do sometimes that is very validating is to go through each body part and say that I love it.  Such as, “I love my toes, my calves, my legs, my hips, etc.” all the way up to your head, and even including your hair and fingertips.  If you are self conscious about a certain body part, focus your attention on that area that much more.  Many of us don’t realize when we put ourselves down (“I look fat in this outfit”, “I’m not good enough for this promotion”, “I’m never going to make a living doing this”) we are sending messages out to the universe, and things that we pay most attention to will cultivate.  Whether it be productive or negative.  So choose to be productive, rather than give your spirit little paper cuts.

And if you are truly in a wonderful, loving relationship, your partner will be lifted by you lifting yourself.  Light and love are higher vibrations than fear and negativity, and they will always win in the end, because they are more powerful.  

To further explain my point, I want to share an excellent poem written by Marianne Williamson, which was featured in her book, “A Return To Love”:

Our Greatest Fear
By Marianne Williamson

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Isn’t it an intense notion that in letting our light shine, we liberate others?  It’s Truth!  So, put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Here are some ways to own your light:

  1. Accept yourself:  this is hard for some people, because we tend to be hard on ourselves at times; but, catch yourself next time you downplay your attributes, and instead, take ownership of your accomplishments, thoughts, and actions.
  2. Fake it till you make it!:  even if you may not fully believe these positive things you tell yourself, there is a part of you that does.  It is that voice that needs to be nurtured and made stronger.  Soon, you won’t be faking it anymore.
  3. When you highly doubt that you did anything worthwhile that day, or feel really downtrodden, write a list called, “7 Things I Accomplished Today” on a piece of paper or in a journal:  freeflow 7 things you accomplished that day, no matter how small you may think it is.  Upon reading it back to yourself, you will see how much you actually do for yourself.  This is a form of exercising gratefulness.  An important thing to do when you want to signal out to the universe that you are ready for more great things!
  4. Own the fact that in just being who you are, naturally, it makes this world a better place to live in.  Acknowledge that your Qi is fierce and important and relevant.  And operate from that place of knowing.

Believe me, these little things actually work (because, in actuality, they’re not little, they’re quite huge, and speak volumes to your soul.)

Do you have a favorite way that you like to own your light?
I would love to hear about it.



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