Are You Being Led by Your Wound or Your Spirit? 5 Tell-Tale Signs You’re Still Not over It

Are you being led by your wound or your Spirit?

Can you even tell the difference?

When we are led by our Spirit, we are in alignment with ourselves and are in our flow.

When we are led by our wounds, we see ourselves burdened by life, unable to function, treading water while barely keeping our head afloat.

However, before you label either as good or bad, consider, instead, that in both instances, we are on our path. Everyone’s path is different, and will often weave in and out between these two polarities.

The trick is in learning the lessons we need to learn in order to more consistently choose to be in alignment with ourselves.

When we live life from a wounded place, it is definitely more uncomfortable. Usually because we are fighting ourselves as enemy number one (even if we don’t realize it!)

So, how can you tell whether or not you are being led by your wound or your Spirit?

Here are 5 tell-tale signs you’re still not over it:

  1. It still pisses you off or triggers deep hurt within you. This is the biggest sign. For instance, if you’d broken up with a partner who had cheated on you, and had thoroughly processed the betrayal, you may come away with the knowledge of a refined desire of what kind of partner you may want in your life, be able to set healthier boundaries so that your needs are met in the relationship, and feel deep trust in future relationships. If you are still angry at the betrayal, you move through life assuming all people resembling your ex-partner’s gender, appearance, stature, or vocation will cause pain, and treat them as threats. If this is the case, you are still living life from an open wound. The sad part about this is that when you do this, your bitterness closes off your Heart Chakra, making it difficult to feel connection and love (especially within yourself.)
  2. You base your life decisions around avoiding it. Avoiding stressful situations and things that could precipitate a repeat of past pain is one thing. Planning your life around avoiding it is another. If you become hyper-vigilant about preventing the undesired experience from repeating itself in the future, you’re still not over it.
  3. You keep repeating the painful experience. The Universe works in mysterious ways, dropping hints here and there. Hopefully, we see the breadcrumbs and take note of the signs so as to avoid repeating past mistakes. Sometimes, when we don’t heed the warnings, the Universe ain’t so damn mysterious, and instead of dropping hints, it will drop stealth bombs for you to notice! So, for example, if you’re repeating a bad relationship – same poison, different person – your pain will cycle, and your gaping wound that you hadn’t tended to from the last relationship will continue to seep, until the stealth bomb blows up in your face in the form of a dramatic disappointment or loss, and you decide to halt the cycle of bad relationships.
  4. You don’t want to talk about it, like, ever. This is different from having so throughly processed the pain and hurt already, that you no longer need to have it take up headspace. I’m talking about when you avoid talking about it, pretend it doesn’t exist, or are in flat-out denial that it is an issue, or that you felt hurt or pain as a result. We may do this as a way of tricking ourselves that it’ll evaporate into thin air and cease to be an issue anymore, or that by not speaking about it, we don’t give it power. The ironic thing is that what we resist, persists, and all the pent-up, pushed-down, undealt with emotions eventually bubble up to the surface somehow. If it’s been pushed down for long enough, it’ll erupt in an often uncomfortable way. But, if you’d rather forego the telenovela drama, allow yourself to sit with the pain, and move through it at your own pace. It is the less stressful way to go!
  5. You project it into your daily life, as if you expect it. If you’ve truly healed from a painful experience, you move through life no longer dictated by how you felt when the painful experience occurred. However, if you are moving through your life as the walking wounded, you will view your life through the tainted lens of pain and struggle, and will look for it everywhere you go. And, whatever you look for, you will eventually find. So, focus on what you want to create in your life, and do so from an open heart ready to receive (after having let go of what no longer serves you, including past patterns and behaviors, of course!)

If you find yourself being led by your wounds, here’s what will help:

Sitting with the discomfort. Yes, it is as fun as it sounds. But, it works. By simply allowing whatever feelings that arise to pass through, without judgment (or, if it just happened, allow yourself to feel all the feels, including the heightened feelings), you give yourself space to register and process everything that comes up.

Up the self-care. Try to go to bed earlier, get more rest, be gentler to your body, take your time getting to places, get in some physical activity, meditate or cultivate a mindfulness practice, eat clean foods that are non-processed, organic, and seasonal, and make sure you get some home-cooked meals in there!

See a good therapist. Going to therapy can help you process the pain, and provide regular support and feedback towards your healing.

Receive bodywork and energy work. Acupuncture, Reiki, massage, shamanic work, and other forms of healing the whole body – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and energetically – will help you move out the old dregs that aren’t of service to you anymore, so that you can free up space in your body and heart to receive that which you want to manifest. In addition, some of these modalities can help heal any tethers and cords that may be still connected, and are siphoning energy from you.

What has worked for you when you’ve felt like the walking wounded?
Please share it with us, below. I’d love to hear about it!

With much love,


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Copyright © 2017 by Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

All information on this website is my own opinion, and not to be taken as medical advice. Reliance on any information provided on this website is solely at your own risk. Please refer to your medical practitioner before making any medical decisions.


  1. Christina
    January 12, 2017

    I love this! Very resonant for me, but especially the people around me. It’s like they keep running into a wall, head first and expecting it not to hurt. Lots of cycling. I find this is when the ego can rear its’ head and not in a way that’s productive. Sometimes it can be hard to bear witness to it. I hope this year allows us all to break the cycles that are keeping up from walking our highest path.

    • Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/Teacher
      January 12, 2017

      Hi Christina!

      Yes, it can be very difficult to witness those we love cycling through their pain. I love the 2017 affirmation, yes! May this year allow us to break the cycles that keep us from walking our highest path.



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