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When Our Journey Towards Wholeness Means Falling Apart First: 5 Ways To Hold Space For Spirit And Heart

“Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart:
a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.”
-Marianne Williamson

Today marks the time between the Total Solar Eclipse/New Supermoon and the Total Lunar Eclipse/Super “Justice” Moon, and it has been a process of upheaval for many. Many endings, beginnings, traumas resurfacing, triggers being activated, and old patterns resurfacing to be cleared. Can you believe that it’s all for us to better own our highest vibration – love?

Even if you are reading this and it is no longer that tender interval between powerful eclipses and moon action, total upheaval feels like pure devastation.

And, then we fear that we will be sucked into that black vortex that we’ve been fearful of coming back to. You know, the hole that feels oh-so-comfortable because it’s safe and known, despite the fact that we feel totally disempowered while being in there. The one that we’d finally crawled out of after many years of being stuck, that reminds us of a time when we felt lacking, fragmented, abandoned, burned, ugly, and charred to a crisp as a result of cumulative life experiences?

It is that same vortex that we fear so much to come back to. That we fear we will fall back into. And, then, oh boy, when/if that happens, all hell will break lose, our seams that have been holding us together all these years will dramatically unravel, leaving us unhinged, with all the inner and outer work we’ve done to date at risk of being decimated.

Yes, I feel you. Can you tell I’ve been there? Maybe even more than once?

Although I’m a healthcare practitioner, and some of my colleagues may find it taboo to discuss personal matters or identification of painful markers in life, to me, it is important to own that everyone struggles. Everyone. Sharing our stories creates connection, which is part of what makes our humanity whole. And, connection is what helps us keep our sanity. So, if something may have helped me at one point, it is my responsibility to convey that to my readers.

Whether or not your version of falling apart right now is tiny or dramatic, there are many steps we can take when our journey towards wholeness means falling apart first.

I do write often about self-care, because it’s so important. But, in this post, I will be focusing on a specific kind of self-care, that holds space for Spirit and Heart, the kind that allows for tenderness and surrender to happen more optimally.

  1. Surround yourself with roses. Roses resonate with the Heart chakra, and with love. We easily access our Heart when we are surrounded with roses. This can mean buying yourself a bouquet of roses. I often recommend this to my heartbroken patients. We don’t need someone else to buy us roses, although it is definitely nice! Feel free to layer on the rose love by spritzing yourself with rosewater (it’s actually great for the skin), and/or enjoying body lotion with lots of delicious moisturizers like shea butter, aloe, and various healing oils, such as rose essential oils. Not only will it keep the skin calm and soothed during a time when you could really use it, but it is like liberally applying healing love to your skin. One favorite brand I like is Andalou Naturals 1,000 Roses Soothing Body Lotion. I like the addition of rosewater, rose stem cells, and rose essential oils in this hydrating mix.
  2. Take time to do your daily activities. When we get caught up in the glamour of busy-ness (which, in all truthfulness, is not so glamourous), we tend to lose touch with the reason why we’re doing these things in the first place. When that happens, everything is a chore, and just another action to perform and complete. Where’s the joy in that? Not like dishwashing is supposed to be a joyous venture; but, it can certainly done with more mindfulness. And, mindfulness is all we’re trying to create when we’re meditating. Thus, even washing the dishes can be a form of mindfulness! Either way, taking things more slowly will not only take the stress level down a notch, but give your sympathetic nervous system a break. Breathe!
  3. Indulge in a special epsom salt bath mini-ritual. I am a big fan of epsom salt baths! They are relaxing, detoxing, eases sore muscles, and helps clear your system when you’re coming down with a cold. The magnesium penetrates the skin layer, which calms the muscles and nerves. Epsom salt baths also clear the aura, which is a big deal for us sensitives and empaths! Make your epsom bath a sacred part of your day, by mixing 1 cup epsom salt + 1 cup baking soda (increases the detoxifying effect) + 5-6 drops each of geranium and sandalwood essential oils. Geranium is great for the Heart Chakra, and helps us gently ease our Heart through emotional pain. Sandalwood is calming and relaxes the nerves, as well as reminds our body of sacredness, particularly our own. It can be a bit on the pricier side, but it is totally worth it to have it in your stash of go-to essential oils. Soak for 15-30 minutes, while burning a few votive candles, and listening to some chill tunes.
  4. Journal. Sometimes we want to say words that we’d prefer to keep private. That’s where the journal comes in. It is a therapeutic tool to release what’s on your chest, whether it be anger, rage, sorrow, joy, love, desire, or wondering. You could write a letter to someone who’s hurt you, or make a comparison list of two columns – one column the thing you fear and worry about, the other column the corresponding truth about that fear, the possibilities of release are endless.
  5. Eat towards healthy emotions. Although chocolate bon bons and Ben & Jerry’s may be up there on the scale of comforting foods, they are not always the best to eat when you feel like you’ve been through the wringer. In fact, feed your body with comforting foods that are also good for you. When you feed yourself healthy foods, you feel good. So, avoid the processed stuff (white flour, white sugar, you get the picture), and opt for warm, cooked foods. Root vegetables that are in season are great to have, since root vegetables are grounding. And if they’re in season, their nutrients are most vital. If you can get them from a farmer’s market, or organic, even better! A stew of root vegetables is not only comforting, but good for you. You can also make a healing congee (a congee is a healing Chinese rice porridge that is often enhanced with other ingredients, like Chinese herbs). Add herbs like Huang Qi (astragalus) and Gou Qi Zi (goji berries). Both are Chinese herbs that you can grab at your friendly, neighborhood Chinese herbal pharmacy (make sure they’re reputable). Huang Qi is an adaptogen, which means that it helps you when you’re feeling stressed. Is also tonifies the Qi. Gou Qi Zi builds Qi & Blood, tonifies Liver and Kidney Yin, moistens the Lungs, and improves vision (if you’re sensitive to nightshades, avoid this herb). For a delicious warming Asian pear and ginger breakfast congee, check out this recipe from my colleague and fellow acupuncturist, Michael Ishii!

Painful transitions are often part of our healing journey. But, the above are ways to make the impact less biting, and full of self-love.

What is your favorite Spirit and Heart healing ritual?
Please share them with us in the comments, below!

Towards Spirit and Heart rebalancing,







10985521_780059662063716_3840537444346197141_nTHIS WEEKEND! Join Chia-Ti Chiu, of One Love Wellness, and I, as we join forces once again, to jump start you into renewal and release of Liver Energy!


Date: Saturday, April 4, 2015
Time: 2-5pm
Where: Alphabet City Sanctuary, 638 East 6th Street, 3rd Fl, NYC
Cost: $45, to register, please RSVP to Workshop is limited to 20 people.

“Spring cleaning” doesn’t just refer to your closets… This is also the time to get light in your mind, body, and spirit.  Over the winter we tend to eat heavier foods, be less active, and accumulate more Kapha (earth energy).  The Indian science of Ayurveda cautions against an excess of Kapha, as it can cause sluggishness, excess mucus, headaches, achy joints, fatigue and lack of mental clarity.  Learn specific yoga poses and breathing exercises that will help to release surplus Kapha and shed toxins, to promote more rejuvenation and health for the Spring.

Spring is the wood element of Liver in Chinese Medicine. The Liver is the controller of the free flow of Qi within the body,  regulating and balancing all the organ functions. Whenever this channel is obstructed, physical and/or emotional pain may result. The emotion of Spring is anger, which can sometimes help us create new growth, or teach us to find another way to flow when there’s resistance. Receive a mini-Acupuncture treatment during the Spring Renewal workshop to ground this Liver energy, and help create flow towards least resistance.

Reiki is an energy healing technique that uses “hands-on” and also “hands-off” positioning that can assist in relieving or reducing pain and discomfort by balancing the body’s energy centers, or chakras. It can be enjoyed as an individual treatment, or a group treatment. Workshop participants will be enjoying group Reiki after the Acupuncture treatment, and will be given an opportunity to get optimally situated before receiving the energy work. Reiki-infused filtered water will be available for you during the workshop, so that you may ingest the healing, as well.

On Saturday, April 4th, the fifth phase of the Chinese seasonal calendar begins. This phase, called Clear and Bright (Qingming), starts at 10:39 PM EDT. This process of externalizing your power and projecting your desires out into the world gains momentum during Clear and Bright. During this phase, powerful Earth Qi that has been concentrating underground for many months is projecting skyward like a geyser and you align with the natural order by expressing your own vitality in clear and bright ways.

This day also marks the day of the Total Lunar Eclipse, the first Lunar Eclipse of 2015. In astrology, this time gives us a window into our “shadow selves”, allowing us to own our wholeness with more compassion.

Join Margarita and Chia-Ti as they lead you through the cleansing with the practices of Yoga, Acupuncture, and Reiki.

Payment: PayPal, ChaseQuickPay, check or cash. You must pre-pay for the workshop.

Contact to make your reservation. |



Copyright © 2015 by Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.

All information on this website is my own opinion, and not to be taken as medical advice. Reliance on any information provided on this website is solely at your own risk. Please refer to your medical practitioner before making any medical decisions.


  1. Teri Hall
    April 1, 2015

    Love all of those suggestions and I do implement them, not as often as I would like though! I also love to chant healing mantras, and ones focusing on the Heart Chakra. Hey surrounded by roses, in a bath with epsom salts etc. breathing long and deep after a healthy green filled meal. All is good.

    • Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/Teacher
      April 2, 2015

      Hi Teri,

      Ah yes, the healing mantras, particularly focusing on the Heart Chakra! Good one. Breathing long and deep after a healthy green filled meal, surrounded by roses, in a bath with epsom salts… sounds deelish!

      Happy healing,

  2. Alexis Badon
    April 7, 2015

    This was great to read as I have for the last year started practicing ways of self healing in those tough times instead of just letting the negativity consume me and not knowing what to do with it. The first things I go to in these times is extra yoga class and gardening or just time in nature. I’m going through a hard break up at the moment so immediately I went to a light yoga and meditation class to just take it easy and reflect. Typically when I go to yoga at such a time I find I’m clearer and more peaceful after the class however this time I found myself crying at the end and the specific areas of both my second and third chakras were tingling and burning, I’ve never had this happen before any suggestions?

    • Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/Teacher
      April 9, 2015

      Those are great ways to nurture the heart, Alexis! Actually, it sounds like you were doing exactly what you needed to do with your meditation, considering the theme of Spring and the hard breakup you’re going through – releasing. The third chakra is our power center, which is often affected during a breakup, and the second chakra is the seat of our emotions. Congratulations on your release!

  3. Alexis Badon
    April 7, 2015

    First, second, and third****

  4. Alison Reynoso
    March 8, 2018

    My favorite Heart and Healing ritual is to thank the Universe and to call upon the Healing Energy of Reiki , my guardian angels, my spirit guides, my Reiki guide and my higher self to be present as I Heal myself with Reiki. My Heart is usually the main focus. I practice this once I open my eyes after sleep.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your power with us, Margarita.
    With Love,

    • Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/Teacher, Medicine Woman
      March 8, 2018

      Hi Alison,

      Yes! That’s a great method to add to the arsenal towards wholeness. Your Reiki work is powerful.

      Keep going!


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