"Frustrated Woman" (cropped) by amenclinicsphotos ac, used with permission under CC BY 2.0. Source.

How To Own Your Shit When You Lose Your Shit

You’ve gone and done it.

You lost your cool.

Life, a person, dreaded event, trigger, or circumstance has become too much, and you’ve just lost your shit. D-R-A-M-A has ensued, and maybe there were a few broken glasses thrown at the wall, choice words were hurled, and doors have been slammed. And you may have left a wee mess in your aftermath.

It happens to the best of us.

And, if you’d like to think of yourself as one on the enlightened path, losing your shit may make you think that you have gone astray – that all that progress you’ve made up until that point to release old patterns, negative behaviors, pain points, and any mind-blowing magic you’ve created have gone to hell in a hand basket.

That all that inner peace, search for inner mystic wisdom, and Goddess cultivation for the past few years has been in vain.

I’m here to tell you that it’s simply not true.

In fact, you are being entirely human. A spiritual being having a very human experience. This is part of your journey.

Do any of these sound like something you’re feeling when you’ve lost your shit?

  • “I’ve lost all I love. Fuck it all.”
  • “My project has gone to hell. Fuck it all.”
  • “I will never be able to achieve this goal I’ve been working so hard and long on. Fuck it all.”
  • “Why bother trying anymore? Fuck it all.”

See a recurring theme?

Yes. Resigning your dreams, light, love, joy, and hope. Giving it all up.

That’s what you want to do when it looks like your heart just got the shaft.

When it seems like the fruit of your blood, sweat, and tears has all poofed into thin air.

We lose our shit because we think we’ve lost it all.

Here’s how to own your shit when you lose your shit

  1. Don’t believe the illusion. Fear is a powerful emotion. It is tied to our primal instincts, our survival, life and death, and whether we are accepted by our tribe and survive, or ostracized from it and perish. Fear is so basic that is linked to our Root Chakra. Fear stops us in our tracks. Thing is, fear isn’t real. It’s an illusion. Initially meant to keep us safe; but, oftentimes, it is kept around too long as a crutch to keep us incapacitated and stunted. It is a major illusion that can halt all energy flow immediately and create stories for us that are untrue. What is true? Love – the highest vibration that exudes such light force that it dissipates fear. But, you have to first acknowledge that the fear isn’t real.
  2. Call in for reinforcements. Your Team of Light is always there for you: Ancestors, Spirit Guides, Angels, light beings, and even magical elementals, all work towards your highest good. It may not feel like they’re there, since they exist on a different plane than we do, but they are there. Our personal cheerleaders! We all have them, and they are able to most help us when we call them in and ask for their help. It can be a simple request, a single question, or a more detailed one. Whichever way works for you, let them help you gain clarity, vision, and insight, towards support, love, and lifting. When you say, “Please help me,” they are there. Make sure that when you ask your question, that you keep your eyes peeled for their answer! It will likely come in your dominant “clair” – inner vision, hearing, feeling, or knowing.
  3. Forgive yourself. Undoubtedly, when we lose our shit, we tend to do and say things that we may not be very proud of. We’ve all been there. The native Hawai’ian healing prayer of forgiveness, called Ho’oponopono, brings us back into balance. Use this prayer to forgive yourself for anything and everything you’ve done to yourself. Use it also to ask forgiveness for anything you’ve done to another person. You only need to say it and mean it for it to work. In other words, you don’t necessarily have to be in the physical presence of the person you’d hurt. Energy responds to energy. “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
  4. Move the energy. Anger is the emotion of a stagnant Liver in Chinese Medicine. Since the Liver opens to the eyes, the eyes will often get red when we are livid. And, since the tissues related to the Liver are the Sinews, it is no surprise that our tendons get constricted when we lose it. This results in physical pain, often in the shoulders and neck, but it can also extend to the back. If it’s been long-standing tension and stress, the pain can be a whole body experience and feel like fibromyalgia or whole body pain. To move the Liver Qi, you can bring in physical activity, get an acupuncture treatment, take herbs, meditate, eat Liver supplementing foods, and if you take supplements, choose ones that the body sees as food rather than medicine (such as liquids or powders vs. pills) so the physical liver doesn’t have to work so hard to process them.
  5. Practice guerrilla self-care. When we lose our shit, we make ourselves easy targets for self-shaming. Sound like you? Break out the major TLC! Practice gentleness with yourself, speak supportively of yourself as you would a BFF or other loved one, take a break from your routine to breathe, ask yourself “what is one thing I need right now that I could do in this moment?” Then, do it!

What soothes the savage beast within when you have your human experience?
I’d love to hear about it in the comments, below!

In the meantime, if you have lost your shit, and need to hear it – you are loved. And you ARE love.





Copyright © 2016 by Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.


  1. Teri Hall
    February 3, 2016

    I truly do love all of your posts. You hit the nail on the head and say it so clearly.
    In appreciation,

    Light, Love and Peace,

    • Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/Teacher
      February 3, 2016

      Hi Teri,

      Thank you! I’m so glad that you find the posts helpful.


  2. Mubareka
    December 28, 2018

    This is SO on point! Lots of loving energy


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