On Cutting The Ties That Bind: Cord Cutting 101
When I talk about cord cutting, I’m not speaking about an inaugural ribbon-cutting ceremony at your newest local Walmart!
I’m talking about the kind of cord cutting that severs psychic ties, the ties that bind, even when we no longer want to be bound, or if it’s starting to negatively affect our lives. The kind where a person’s presence still lingers, despite the fact that we may have physically moved away from them, or moved to another state or country.
For those of you who are having a hard time moving on from someone or something, despite proactive efforts to move on, there may be something missing from your arsenal of techniques.
What is cord cutting?
Cord cutting is when you cut the cord that tethers and connects you to another person, on a psychic and energetic level.
Why is cord cutting important?
When we enter into a relationship with someone – for love, business, or life in general – we create bonds with them. It may be a small one, or larger than life.
These bonds are actual, energetic cords that run from our body to theirs. Usually, from somewhere in our center, to their center. It’s like a tether or tendril of light, often white or yellow, but it could really be any color. It allows us to connect with them in deeper ways. Some folks may even “feel” what they’re feeling because of this connection, even if they may not be in the same room together.
We may not be able to see it (unless one of our gifts is clairvoyance), but it can often be felt.
If it is strong, such as in karmic relationships (where you’ve spent many lifetimes together, and especially if you’re still working things out), your bond will keep pulling you together, even if one of you feels the relationship is no longer useful, or it’s become toxic.
You will continue to be pulled and drawn to each other, because not only are you karmically working something out, but because the cord that ties you to each other is still flowing with life-force and energy.
If you have a healthy relationship with those you are corded to, that’s fabulous! It gives you joy to be connected to them, and to have them enhance your life.
However, what happens when you are corded to those who are unhealthy for you, or whom you no longer want to be connected to? You may feel connected to them, even when you’d rather not be.
A prime example of when cord cutting may be appropriate: you know your ex is bad for you, but you keep getting drawn to them.
This is especially true if you’ve completely lost yourself in them, or identify with them (rather than with your own energy).
When you are in a highly karmic relationship (in love, family, business, or otherwise), you may feel drained, angry, or negatively effected, and you may feel like you are not receiving any value from the bond. In fact, you may feel badly or unhealthy around them, or in association with them.
Keep in mind this may different from dealing with a psychic vampire, where they are consciously, or subconsciously, depleting your life force. Although, being in regular connection with psychic vampires may be good enough reason to do some cord cutting!
If any relationship is unhealthy for you, and you feel really bonded to them even though you’ve done a lot of internal work and created physical distance from them, cutting the cord may be just what you need! Because otherwise, you may be walking around still tied to them, and not knowing why.
How do I find my energy cord(s)?
We all have one cord for each person we are connected to. As you can imagine, some of us have many cords!
To find the one you share with a certain person, you may simply feel it, like a tug (clairsentience), know it (claircognizance), or see it (clairvoyance). It is not common to pick up on your cords through hearing it (clairaudience), but you never know! To find out more about the different clairs, check out my article, “How To Develop Your Intuitive Gifts Without Being Overwhelmed By Them: Part I – The Discovery“.
One easy way to locate it is through meditation, or by simply checking in with oneself and getting still. In that moment where you’re able to disengage yourself from outside stimuli, and look within, think of the person you’re having difficulty disengaging from.
With your eyes closed, see the tether that connects you both. Where is it located? Oftentimes, it is located somewhere around the navel, heart, or solar plexus.
Next, check out the details of this connection: What color is it? How thick is it? Is it ropey, or smooth? Is it more full in one area, or thinner in another? Is it pulsing and vital, or does it appear to be otherwise?
How do I cut the cord(s)?
Here’s one basic and effective way to cut the cord between you and someone else. If you like, you can invite your spirit guides to help you locate the cord(s) and perform the cutting, and ask your angels to protect you while you do so:
- During meditation, or when you are in a quiet space, and deeply connected with yourself, locate that cord that connects you to the other person.
- See which part of your body it stems from.
- Imagine that you have a large pair of scissors in your hands, and use it to cut the cord. If you like, you can take your hand, create a scissor with your forefinger and middle finger, and snip the cord that way.
What to expect afterwards
When you cut off your connection with someone else, be prepared to possibly feel some reverberation. Or not.
As anyone who’s played with rubber bands as a child knows – when you take a rubber band, stretch it, and then cut it, or release one end, in mid-stretch, you get a bit of a sting when it flicks back. This can happen energetically, too, when it comes to cord cutting.
Energetically, this looks like you receiving anger or an outburst from the person you cut the cord with. If you are no longer speaking with them, or no longer physically interacting with them, they may lash out with a phone call or text.
If you are in an abusive connection with this person, make sure that you are safe and have protocols in place in case the person acts out.
Don’t allow that possibility to deter you, however!
Only you know if a romantic or platonic relationship no longer serves you. We all deserve to be happy and to have joy in our lives. And, if we are in a less than ideal connection, particularly if it detracts from our quality of life, or makes us feel less than, it is a connection that has overstayed its welcome.
That being said, any possible reverberation that occurs after cord cutting is the “last hurrah” before leaving. In addition, it is possible that you may have to cut stubborn connections more than once.
It is also important to remember that cord cutting is only part of what is needed to truly say goodbye to unhealthy connections with others.
Other things you may want to consider, in addition to cord cutting, if you want to disconnect from a relationship with more ease:
- Remove their belongings from your immediate atmosphere (they hold their energy). This includes removing any gifts they’ve given you.
- Clean your living space. Clutter is not only physical, but energetic.
- Make conscious efforts to look within and see what negative patterns you are perpetuating, and any limiting beliefs. Particularly if they have become more powerful since your connection with the other person.
- Work on connecting with your heart on a regular basis, so that you may continue to access it and don’t become bitter.
- Find out what you needed to learn in the connection with this person. If it is a karmic relationship, and you feel that it’s time for the karma to end (because just creating the intention to end and clear karma is enough to start the process), envision yourself in a violet flame, with the flame burning up your karma with the other person.
Is there anything I’d missed?
How have you cut your cord connection with someone?
I’d love to hear how you did it, in the comments, below!
May you release yourself into freedom,
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Copyright © 2015 by Alcantara Acupuncture & Healing Arts. All rights reserved. You may quote, copy, translate and link to this article, in its entirety, on free, non-donation based websites only, as long as you include the author name and a working link back to this website. All other uses are strictly prohibited.
All information on this website is my own opinion, and not to be taken as medical advice. Reliance on any information provided on this website is solely at your own risk. Please refer to your medical practitioner before making any medical decisions.
LornaJuly 16, 2015
Wow, thank you for this! It’s exactly what I need at the moment. Thank you also for sharing your knowledge and passion in such an accessible way. I found your blog after reading Mary Ann Ubaldo’s profile at the back of the book “Filipino Americans: Transformation and Identity” and linked to some of the organizations she mentioned. I look forward to learning more from you! (If I lived near NY, I would definitely schedule an appointment!) Wishing you all the best!
Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/TeacherJuly 18, 2015
I’m glad that my post resonated with you! I haven’t read the book, yet, but I’m glad I was mentioned somewhere in there, and that it helped us to connect. Thanks for the well wishes. Same to you. Happy reading!
Fiona TrewhittJuly 18, 2015
Thank you Margarita. What are your thoughts on performing this for other people as a practitioner. Do you think it is ok to do this for other people with their consent if they feel unable to do it themselves as effectively, or do you believe this is something that should only be done by yourself for yourself?
Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/TeacherJuly 18, 2015
That’s an interesting question! Frankly, I’ve never thought of practitioners performing this for others, since cord cutting is such a personal thing. I would think that the practitioner would need to be highly skilled (as in having developed their “clairs” or having taken a program that specializes in cord cutting) to locate the other person’s cords, and do this effectively. Or perhaps do a guided visualization to help the person do this for themselves. But, frankly, in my humble opinion, this is something that everyone can do for themselves, no matter if they’ve been cultivating their gifts or not. If a person has a feeling that cord cutting is necessary, they are already at a place where they can sense the cord, themselves, and do what needs to be done. It would also be more empowering for them to do it for themselves!
As an aside, I just checked out your wonderful website. What a great support you provide for mothers around wellness!
Fiona TrewhittJuly 18, 2015
Thank you – again for your insights and also kind words re my business.
Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/TeacherJuly 19, 2015
You’re welcome! Hope my insights were helpful.
LornaSeptember 16, 2015
Hi Margarita, I have struggled with anxiety and fear when it comes to doing tasks that are directly connected to a big dream of mine. They crept up again last night. It occurred to me to try cutting the cord to this relationship with anxiety/fear and immediately I felt a shift. It’s a thick, nasty cord so I’ll continue cutting and I am looking forward to being free from this relationship. I am also setting the intention to shift toward joy and gratitude. Thank you again for sharing this tool! It’s the gift that keeps on giving 🙂 All the best!
Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/TeacherSeptember 17, 2015
Good thinking! Sounds like it’s a pretty potent cord. How fabulous that you knew what you had to do to help you make the shifts!
ElizabethApril 10, 2017
Hi Margarita! I loved your article! I hope you don’t mind but I have a question. Before knowing this article existed, I used a technique like this to sever the connection with one of my favored abilities- a form of sight, if you will. It feels like one of the many ‘lights’ one senses or feels after achieving another stage of enlightenment or developed metaphysical/spiritual ability. Is there a way to reestablish a connection with an ability once you have severed it with the energy that can only be described as ‘scissors cutting’? I struggle to reconnect with it and now it’s causing me some remorse and anxiety.
Thanks so much for your time, I greatly appreciate it! Take care! 🙂
Margarita Alcantara, M.S.Ac., L.Ac., Reiki Master/TeacherApril 11, 2017
So glad you enjoyed my article! Your intuitive abilities always belong to you. So, even if you at one point shut it down, severed your connection with it, or made a promise against it, you can simply create a powerful intention to reconnect with it again, in order to reactivate it. And, when you do, really honor that reconnection, maybe even enhance it with crystals such as Kyanite (especially Kyanite Indigo), Lapiz Lazuli, or Amethyst to heighten that reconnection, since it was related to your Inner Sight. Call in your guides for assistance. I’m glad you’re reconnecting with it, as all of our intuitive abilities are strengths, allowing us to more fully own our power. You need not be afraid of your power.
LenaApril 11, 2018
the article is very helpful to me . I want to do cord cutting from my ex-boyfriend , I completely lost myself in him ,lost my mind . I’m sill strongly drown to him even after 20 years of separation from him. to this day I’m still thinking of him . i sow him couple months ago and my harts start beating . Any advice ?. Thank you so much Margarita ❤️